I always heard this phrase of “time is the best healing” and I always agreed with it, but now I am actually living it.
I have been living in motherhood for the past 6 years and in every year, every month, every meltdown, every conquest, every diaper change, every doctor’s visit, every sleepless night ; I see how much my today is better than yesterday. Time has shown me that no day like is like the other and that is good!!!
One of the things that I suffered the most about becoming a mom was the absence of “me time” in the early years of motherhood. Of course my experience might not be your experience, but you do have to agree that once you become a mom the percentage of time that you have for yourself decreases drastically, right? Until you get it all together, and your child “allows” you to be you, girl… by then you are already living in your yoga pants and ponytail for 1 year!!!
With me it so happened that not only I gave birth, I also got pregnant 5 months after I gave birth! What a paradise! #Not! So, it was pretty intense going from walking in the mall shopping for myself to actually have the motivation to leave the house with a car seat, diaper bad, bottle, breastfeeding clothes, and an ok hair day!!
On those days, I thought that I would forever live in chaos. I thought it would take a looooong time until I could take a shower free of crying babies. I thought I would forever have to carry diaper bag and do a checklist before leaving the house. I thought I would never again have girls night out. I thought I was stuck in that time forever.
Now, 6 years later, I can tell you that my mind was playing games with me and it was flat out lying to me!! Well, it’s easy to say that now that I feel that my sanity is a “little bit better” than before… Looking back at Camila 2012 and Camila 2019 I see so many wonderful changes that is almost unbelievable for me think.
Here I am writing this while my daughter is at home with her dad, who last minute agreed to work from home today, and my son is in school probably getting ready for his spring picture day. And me? Girl, I am at the hair salon getting highlights done!!! Thank You, you’re welcome!!
So no, 5 years ago I would not be seated at à hair salon with my mind at ease that everything is ok at home. Pretty soon into motherhood I learned that parenthood is battle that starts in your mind! It starts with the the decisions you will make for your child since pregnancy until you put them to bed at night.
Not having time for myself consumed me mentally. I had a constant battle in my mind of what the society concept of being a good mother was, versus my own concept of motherhood. With that, I was mentally trapped with not knowing what to do.
Time has been my friend. In time past sores have been healed. Past mistakes have been understood and forgiven. Past decisions have have been successfully met. In time my little babies have grown to be my best cheerleaders and my best time management tools! In time I have made discoveries about myself that came in a perfect timing… I might even share with you in the future about a big one I recently found!
Anyways… for all of you fellow moms out there, I tell you, today you may not be living your best day, but thank God for tomorrow! Let’s do this motherhood thing together one step at a time!