Ok, I have to open up with somebody about this break up. No, it has nothing to do with my marriage, although my husband drives me crazy sometimes!! This break up is about the “wonderful world of making friends who are moms”. Does it make sense to you? Unless you are a mom, I’m not sure if you will understand what I mean; either way I’ll be glad to tell you the good, the bad and the ugly about this “world”.
When we moved to Silicon Valley, 5 months ago , we met a really nice couple (Jon and Elaine – fake names of corse) whose daughter was 1 month older than Olivia, I will be calling their daughter Sam. We all enjoyed each other’s company and so did our kids. From this couple we met a few others and within 2 months we all became close enough to start our WhatsApp group of 4 moms. Do you know how difficult it is to meet a mom that has anything in common with you? Do you how difficult it is to get each other’s number? Do you know how difficult it is to have play dates with for your children when you are a stay home mom? I’ll tell you: It is ridiculously ridiculous annoying ridiculous!!!!!! That many times ridiculous!!!
Anyway, Elaine and I had a cool friendship going on, our husbands work in the same field, Olivia is completely in love with Sam, Noah enjoys hanging out with the other kids in the group, we all had trips to Ikea, enjoyed lady’s night out, going out to play dates with our kiddos, etc. Olivia though, would talk about Sam day and night, she would get super excited to meet Sam, and would cry when Sam had to go home.
Now, here comes the nasty part. Twice, I was left out from their plans, even though we have a chat group. Once, I did not let Olivia go to the pool with Elaine because I don’t feel comfortable with letting my children go to the pool or car rides with anybody but me or my husband. That day, I noticed she and the other mom treated me differently. Ladies, we know when there is bad vibe in the air, right? Then, a few days later, the kids and I went to one the mom’s house to watch NBA finals… Boy oh Boy!!! Why did I even give myself a chance to be there!!! ‘Taking a deep breath’… Ok, the moment came when all the women and only my kids were at the room “watching the game” when one of the moms turn to the others, but me, and starts by saying this: “Elaine and X, about that trip we are planning to Disney, I was thinking it would only work out for me in September…” Ladies, they continue to discuss about their trip, and dates, and desires as if I was not there, and as if we were in middle school!!!!!
Now, I’m not a storyteller, and I’m not so good with detailing my emotions in writing, but I can tell you that for me all the friendship and respect I had for those women ended there! I did not need to think twice about it! That was it! The rest of the evening went downhill after that and I was the first to leave.
Once I came home I sent a text to the group chat and left the group. The next day, Olivia asked about Sam… She looked out the window and said: Where is Sam?… And that is when it hit me: I broke up with her mom!! What a terrible mom I am! How could I break up with my daughter’s first and best friend? How could I be so selfish?
Seriously, this is the hardest break up I went through in my life! As a mom you choose/want the best for your children, and the thought of them suffering because of the choices you make, hurts more than anything in the world. After I turned 30, I became so sure of who I am that I don’t have time to take “bullc…” from others! Therefore, when those women made me feel unwelcome I didn’t have to think twice about cutting my relationship with them. However, I forgot that I have two little human beings that are completely dependent on the choices I make…
As for Noah and Olivia, all they know is that we haven’t seen Sam lately… What I do know is that the love Noah and Olivia have for each other goes beyond any “breakup”! Their sibling love daily shows me that they are each other’s first and best friends! It’s really a privilege to witness their friendship, growth and care to each other!
What about you? Did you ever go through a similar experience? I really want to know your thoughts about this topic! 😉